How not to treat your trusty Saturday evening babysitter

It is my choice, not yours, when to come out of the closet. It is never okay to trap me in a car, force me to out myself by asking me if I'm getting a "sex change," then drive me in circles for an hour telling me that I'm too young to make the decision to transition and that I shouldn't transition and that transitioning is wrong for me and that I need to do other things in my life first and...well, thank goodness you were there to cisplain things to me, huh? Or I would've gone and made a horrible decision and regretted it for the rest of my life!

Also never okay: telling me that "of course your mom didn't say anything against this, I think she probably just feels guilty and thinks it's her fault that you're deaf, so she's gonna support you no matter what you do. If you go kill someone, she'll be on the news making excuses for you." This crossed so many lines, I can't even count them all.

Or telling me that "I'm sure your brother and your mother are both accepting up-front, but somewhere in the back of their minds, they've gotta be thinking that, yeesh, this is my sister? This is my daughter? She's making a pretty big decision and she's going to regret it." (My retort: "no, they're thinking: this is my brother, this is my son. And I am there for him every step of the way.")

And what fantastic advice you're giving me--"spend time with people who don't agree with your 'choice' to transition," and thank you for reminding me that, of course, if I "hang out with a bunch of transgender people, they're going to be all for it." Well I don't see you hanging out with a group of your friendly neighborhood Nazis, Mr. Finklestein. Would that be because they'd be unaccepting and unsupportive of your Jewish identity? But don't you know, they could enlighten you about all the reasons that being Jewish is a bad, bad life choice. (Yes, I actually said all of this.)

This is also not "because I'm a lesbian." If you were paying attention, you might have noticed that, uh, I've brought my boyfriend over on several occasions while coming to babysit your kids (with permission) and introduced him to you as such. Just because I asked for the weekend off for Pride doesn't mean I'm a dyke--I was at Trans Pride.

Don't tell me I "need to go to college first and study this from an academic perspective before making any decisions." I'm pretty sure you didn't go to college and study the mechanics of being a heterosexual, cisgendered, cissexual male before deciding to be one. I can't focus on things like college right now, I need to transition first. And no, I'm not going to wait until I'm 40 to "gain more introspection," and if you think "the worst that can happen is you'll spend the next 20 years in the wrong body," you're grossly underestimating how miserable it is to be in my situation and not do anything about it.

And don't even start with "how do you know this is the right thing for you, or that you don't 'just' have BDD?" Well, that might have something to do with the 6 years of therapy I've been in, and spending my entire life identifying with femme males.

I'm starting T in a few weeks and was getting ready to come out to you and your wife at the same time, hoping to have a civil, educational conversation; provide you with books, websites and other resources; and help you explain this to your kids, who I've been babysitting for 4 years. I realize that "things in life don't always go as planned," (thanks for the reminder, dickwad), but I also know I have the right to decide when (and how) to out myself, if ever, to anyone. It's my identity, and as hard as you might try, you'll never be in charge of it.

Thank you for finally fucking dropping me off at home.
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books dumb people

Trans Erasure in Malawi

It makes me so angry that my nation put the laws in place that have imprisoned Steven and Tiwonge - and that Western media continues to smother their voices.

Tiwonge is not a man - they are not a gay couple. Tiwonge is a trans woman.

My people and their homophobia imprisoned them, and my people and their transphobia/white privilege has silenced their voices and misgendered Tiwonge so that they can push for equal marriage. Our struggles should not eclipse their struggles, we should fight for our rights equally.

Spread the word - to your newspapers, to your LGBT+ organisations, to every friend you have; Tiwonge is a woman.

This should strengthen and unite our communities, but it is, yet again, silencing trans voices to speak up for gay ones.

You can write to them here:
Tiwonge Chimbalanga and Steven Monjeza, Prisoners, Chichiri Prison, P.O.Box 30117, Blantyre 3, Malawi
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Hermione/Luna Scrabble

Rage for Others

My little brother Jordeaux has just come out as trans on his facebook. Everyone's leaving him supportive messages and things like that. Then he gets a message from this *I must not use foul language* person that he knows. And I see red.

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Dear "Elle"
You. COWARD. You enormous, gargantuan Brobdingnagian coward not having the guts to post your little message on Facebook. If she really wanted to "stand up for Jesus" she'd post it on facebook and not be afraid. If she thinks she's right, she'll have no problem saying it in public. But no- she's a coward. And I have no respect for cowards. (And also, Dear "Elle", I would spit, but that would be a waste of perfectly good saliva)

And I'm feeling a lot of T-rage right now. I can put up with a lot, but when something like this happens to another person, especially one of my brothers...

EDIT: Oh, and she's responded again!
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Thinking is hard! I don't like change! Boo hoo. How does this iPod work? It's new, it must be the devil.

I'm hulking out here, fellas. Can I get a rage-rage?

((Crossposted to Trans_Rage))
Cute - angelikitten

Oh LJ...

LiveJournal's making a change to the gender setting on the profile page.

* Gender will be a mandatory field at account creation.

* LiveJournal is removing the Unspecified option for the gender field. That's right: you get to be male or female. Period. That's it. (Source.)

I... I don't even have words to explain how much this hurts me. And it does hurt, because I can't see what good limiting the gender option does at all, especially if the information is staying private.

It's probably silly of me to be crying about this, but I just don't need this shit right now.

(For those who'd like suggestions on how to deal with this, this post has some ideas, which is where I found out about it.)

[Edit] Apparently the change is not going through (edit at the bottom of the page), sorry!
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angry neku

(no subject)

Dear asshat (and you're straight, what a surprise):

I do not set queer rights back by being angry when people say homophobic things. I do not set queer rights back by calling bigots on their shit.

You know who really sets queer rights back? Bigots. And asshats like you who tell me to calm down, as if being discriminated against isn't worth being angry over.

New Mod

Hello all, I will be your newest addition to the mod team here at queer_rage.

I've been a long time member of this comm (five years-ish) and am happy to see it thriving with over a thousand members (egads!).

If you have questions or concerns, feel free to contact me or any of the other mods, of course. Our emails are listed on the community's info page.

I would like to take this time to remind people of the rules, particularly the "basic" ones which I have seen violated far too much over the last year.

Comments which do not support the OP are a violation of the rules and will not be tolerated. You will be warned and your comment will be frozen to prevent replies.

Language which violates safe space (use of the term "bitch" is the most frequent) is a violation of the rules and will not be tolerated. You will be warned. If the language is in a post, you will be asked to correct the post as necessary or else it will be deleted. Comments with such language will be frozen.

Debate is also a violation and not tolerated. This is not a free speech community. You are safe to rant, rave, and seek support for frustrating, infuriating, annoying, sickening - whatever - things in the world. But you are not safe to say whatever you want without repercussions. Keep snarky and rude comments to yourselves. If someone has called you on something, suck it up and apologize and learn from it rather than whining and arguing.

If you don't remember the rules clearly, please refresh your memory now.

Edited to Clarify: Comments which are not supportive ARE banned. If you, however, feel the need to call the OP on something, do so respectfully as possible. Coming off as holier-than-thou and turning on the snark 200 % will only make you look like a jerk and probably not teach anyone anything.

However, the best course of action is TO CONTACT THE MODS, as per the rules of the comm if you find something upsetting or offensive about a post or a comment. We will try to deal with things ASAP. It is our job to take care of these things so you basically shouldn't have to.

Similarily, if you see unsupportive comments to a post which doesn't have any problems to call out, or, if a user is causing some kind of wank in the comments - report it to the mods. Thanks!
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  • Tags

marriage definition wank

loonylolydarko: hell yeah I'm a bit heteronormative, if homosexuality was the fucking norm we wouldn't be having this issue, would we?
loonylolydarko: We're not talking about people who aren't married, either, we're talking about marriage and procreation happens to be a subheading. There is a big etymological relationship between procreation and marriage, and just because you don't want to see it doesn't mean it isn't there. I'll tell you one thing, though - labeling everyone as prejudice gay-hater because they don't support gay marriage is an ignorant and judgmental thing to do. I do NOT discriminate against gays and I never will, so you might want to stop with that.
loonylolydarko: I'm just telling you the truth, you can take it or leave it. Discrimination sucks and I don't think gay people are weird or icky or undeserving, but you can't honestly say that homosexuality is "the norm" - neither are curly hair, blue eyes or white skin.
loonylolydarko: I'm just saying that with regards to the historical nature of marriages, gays don't fit the mold -

Aside from the exceptions you mentioned and may have missed, married people had kids
"Married people had kids"
"Married people had kids"
(200,000 years later)
Marriage has become undeniably linked with having kids.

*When you eliminate that stigma for marriage then the entire argument can totally be refuted.


[I'm means_toanend jsyk.]
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